MEOKO Guide to Being a Superstar DJ

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DJing is the new rock 'n' roll, we all know that, just look at the various superstar DJs who are making their mark on the music charts of the world and picking up a huge following in the process. EDM is akin to the grunge movement of the mid-nineties or perhaps punk in its heyday, right? As the EDM scene grows and spreads around the globe so too does the need for many fans to emulate their heroes and try to become superstar DJs. We at MEOKO are well aware of this and so, we've put together a handy 'how-to' guide for all you wannabe Guettas out there to make your way to the top... pay close attention.


MIXING: If you want to make things easy for yourself, simply do what Swedish House Mafia and David Guetta have done in the past and simply pre-record a mix then play it for your adoring fans – no one will notice and, as we all know, it's all about the show and not your prowess on the ones and twos. If you do want to make things work on a more believable level, the 21st Century's greatest invention, the sync button is the perfect way to get everything moving along. Remember, there is a lot of extra work to consider where you're DJing – synchronising the music with visual elements (like fireworks) is crucial, as well as spreading your arms like a DJ God and generally being the centre of attention are just as important – maybe more so - as the BIG TUNES you're dropping for the masses. You have to let your fans know that you're serious about your shit, a massive drop just isn't the same without some vertical fire cannons or confetti guns to accompany it (preferably both in tandem).

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Also in this category: Miming, timing your dance moves, how to avoid being caught out, believing your own hype, what is vinyl?

FASHION: No self-respecting superstar should appear on the big stage without his regulation outfit. After all, how can you expect your discerning fans to take you seriously if you're not dressed in an appropriately suave, debonair manner? A timeless piece, suitable for both Spring/Summer and Autumn/Winter seasons, is the low-cut V-neck top – the lower the V, the better. If they can't see your naval in the back row, then something ain't right – hit up your local Valentino store and tell them you want only the deepest cut V, ask for Ramon, he'll hook you up nice. And make sure it's extra tight-fitting. Add to that a pair of skinny jeans, or possibly even leggings, a la Steve Aoki, and you're headed in the right direction. Black is the colour of choice, though if not, go for white.

For that ultra-authentic David Guetta ensemble, look no further than his very own fashion line “F**k Me, I'm Famous” - which is comprised a range of subtle pieces from a sublime T-shirt range through to exquisitely produced items of underwear, including thongs.

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Also in this category: Beaded chains, gold chains, tattoos, sunglasses, baseball cap (back to front), leather jacket.

RIDER: When you reach the top there's no more of this playing for free business, forget having your bus fare home handed over to you after a big night of dropping BIG TUNES, this is the big time and because everything is bigger you can demand a hell of a lot more than a top-up on your Oyster card. Not only are you entitled to a large fee (think six figures and nothing less) wherever you play but you can also pick up a rider – that is, the stuff promoters will lay on for you when you arrive at their venue. Just like a real-life rock star. This section is all about Steve Aoki, whose rider was leaked earlier this year... over to you Steve:

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POSING: As any dedicated EDM fan will tell you, festivals and club nights are all about the DJ. So, to become that hero behind the decks you must, must, must learn how to POSE, this is crucial and a key element of being a superstar DJ. For this particular skill, you'll need a mirror and plenty of arrogance. Start by watching the scene in American Psycho where Patrick Bateman is having a threesome while watching himself in the mirror and kissing his guns, this is literally what you want to be doing while you're mixing. Running your hands through your own hair, pouting, spreading your arms out like a God, pointing at the decks (or up in the sky) as your BIG TUNES drop and generally making sure all eyes are on you - leaving some space for the epic, game-changing production around you of course... more confetti and more fire. Yes. 

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Also in this catoegory: Going to the gym, tight T-shirts, podium dancers, self-importance...

GIMMICKS: These days you're almost nothing without a gimmick, whether you're French (David Guetta), Dutch (Afrojack) or a lover of cheese (deadmau5), a hook is essential to keep EDM's dedicate army of music lovers interested in you. Remember, the more off the wall the better – this is nothing to do with honing your craft and everything to do with appealing to a mass audience. Think about how you might dumb down your image – would a bunny outfit work? Probably. Steve Aoki has been working his magic for quite some time now, he has a penchant for the hilarious stage dive (sometimes aided by an inflatable dinghy), although this recently landed the poor man in hospital. He also throws cakes at his audience, which is a very resourceful gimmick – feed your fans while entertaining them, genius.

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Also in this category: Vertical fire cannons, glitter bombs, crowd surfing in a dinghy, the correct way to dive onto a trampoline.

HIT THE CHARTS: This is where you need to be aiming if you really want to become known all around the world for your finesse behind the decks. Making a hit song is where it's at, especially if you can collaborate with someone of equal talent. The American market is there for the taking, superstars like Rihanna, Ludacris, Madonna and J-Lo are all well aware of how big EDM is, so they're more than happy to get involved with our music and help take it to the next level. Thankfully they all understand what it means to rock a big room with BIG TUNES, so there's nothing to worry about – you'll be in good company. If you need any pointers on making a hit, just call up Dr.Luke – the man behind Britney Spears hit Hold It Against Me and a multitude of other Billboard top 10 hits. Most of his music is inspired by the hottest new sounds, dubstep, electro... it's all in there. In fact, if he took to the big stage and started rocking it on the wheels of steel, I'm sure Dr.Luke could become a superstar DJ in no time. If you're reading this Luke, take heed!

Also in this category: Not selling out, maintaining integrity, BIG TUNES, staying true to the roots.

BECOME A CELEBRITY FIRST: Ok, so maybe DJing isn't quite as easy as they make it out to be or your sync button has broken, either way you need a quick and easy route into the world of the superstar. It's simple, become a celebrity BEFORE you become a DJ. Remember, nowadays becoming famous is easy – sing up to appear on a reality show or give Jeremy Kyle a shout. As long as your face has been on the small screen for 15-minutes or more, you're a celebrity – paps will follow you everywhere and you'll be booked by plenty of the world's most refined venues to perform a DJ set. Take Danny Dyer for instance, he plays all over the UK – so does Dean Gaffney. On a global scale Paris Hilton is killing shit right now, her talent knows no bounds and DJing has become yet another string to her ever-growing bow. Kate Moss has also demonstrated her prowess on the wheels of steel, apparently she charges £250,000 per half hour – more than worth it I'm sure you'll agree.

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Also in this category: Date a celebrity, Big Brother, The Only Way Is Essex, tabloid exposure, kiss and tells, page 3 girls.

CELEBRITY STATUS: When you finally make it, which hopefully with the aid of this cunning guide, you will, you'll be a bonafide celebrity just like Frank Sinatra or Elizabeth Taylor. Your talent will mean that you'll be in public eye constantly, the press will hunt you down, follow your every move and hang on your every word. Even better than that, you'll be invited to all of the hottest parties in the world – from pool parties in Vegas to private shows for the lucky offspring of multi-millionaires – you'll be living the dream. So Diddy's launching a new flavour of his Ciroc vodka? You'll be there, on the red carpet, along with his homies, Kim Kardashian and Kanye, The Situation and Pauly D, Aubrey O'Day and lots more of America's celebrity elite. A sign of just how far electronic music has come, from the streets of Chicago and Detroit to the champagne popping clubs of Las Vegas. The dream..

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Also in this category: How to 'make it rain', popping champagne the correct way, groupies, posing for the paparazzi.

 by Marcus Barnes